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| Author | Topic: Hello There |
| bill boes |
posted 2/17/05 6:14 AM
Glad i found a place that i can talk about things on my mind.. I am a caregiver for my grandmother that was only diagnosed a couple of years ago, though seems like only yesterday that i remember going to her house for holidays and to visit and now she lives with me and my parents. I am just finding it so hard to handle seeing her not at all like she use to be, and from what i have read she is in the 4th stage of the disease.. and i have not told my mother ( it is her mother that is here ) that the reason i am awake all night is that i am afraid something will happen and that i want to be there when / if it does.. I know this is going to sound kind of odd for a 30 y/o man to admit but i cry thinking of the day she leaves... i love her to much and want her around forever... ii am not sure ehat io am going to do when she passes on i am not sure if i could handle it... how have you guys handled being a caregiver for relatives... guess i really need someone to talk to so i know that i am not at all alone feeling this way..Thanks for your ear / shoulder..... Billbboes_2000@yahoo.com |
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Admin (Moderator) |
posted 2/19/05 5:47 PM
Hey Bill - This is Tay!I own the website you posted your message on and after reading your words---. My friend, I know how hard this is for you. My mom was diagnosed in 1989 and passed away in 2000. I know how difficult it is to see all the changes, you wonder what you can do to help - how you can make it stop. But the truth is Bill, this disease can't be stopped, at least not yet anyway. But the best thing you can do for yourself and your Grandma, is just simply love her, appreciate the time you have with her, and to remember, no matter how much distance this disease puts between you and her, she will always love you Bill, and that will never change. And yes, it's ok to cry - you have every right to. You're grieving for what's happening to her - for what's happening to you and your family. But Bill, I want you to ask yourself something--- How would your Grandma expect you to handle this? Wouldn't she say to you - honey, I know how much you hate this, how much it's tearing you up, but you can't let this thing do this to you - Bill - believe it or not, she is leaving you a legacy, something I like to call "Grace Underfire". Through her, she will show what courage, strength and character truly is. Allow her to be your hero my friend, but when the time comes and she leaves, take the gift she's given you, mourn her passing, and then use what she has taught you to make a better you. You will become her legacy - you will be the best parts of her that will live on long after she is not here anymore. And that is the finest gift anyone can ever have - ok?And Bill, if you need some email penpals, drop me a note at my email addie and I'll send you a few names of people to keep in contact with - ok? They are all past and present caregivers, people much like you who understand - |
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Admin (Moderator) |
posted 2/19/05 5:54 PM
Apparently it ate my email addie so here it is again - usmessages@yahoo.comAnd you can also pop over to the Email Angels pages - http://www.zarcrom.com/users/alzheimers/email/email.html |
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