Author	Topic:   "The Last Festival":movie review
JackMac and RadBoy	posted 12/4/04 5:12 PM       Drug and Alcohol induced delusions of grandeur in the sweltering summer heat of 1985, WillardFestival was a monumental case of bad timing and wasted greatness. So, too is The Last Festival:The Movie. Director Oliver Stone, known for tackling hubristic topics without blinking, would seem to be the right filmmaker for a full tilt, birth-to- death epic on the unstoppable Blind Legion, whose antics tore down everything in their path, from Cordell to Tipton. Our first view of Vinny { Ron Silver} is of his last brew. Dropping the Miesterbrau he's been clutching in his hand {a direct lift from Citizen Kane} he vows to organize the jam session. Before the can gather members of this great war machine called Blind Legion, he must first call Hugh { Kenneth Brannah} and Rapp {Matt LeBlanc} in order to procure another beer run. After getting the news that Willard { KevinBacon} has procured some smoke, Ike { James Gandolfini} is walking an increasingly feaverish course towards the playground on Kellogg, where the destined Festival was to run. Oliver Stone cant shake his druggy,1960's points of reference even when working with rock band teenagers.
JackMac and RadBoy	posted 12/5/04 5:58 AM       "..On the path to Willard's, Ike encounters an Indian shaman spirt named Bottock{ Val Kilmer},who encourages the victory of retreat, from Willards elusive playground of hemp and debautchery. A overlording Eagle{ Zeus 'Tiny' Lister}, a symbol of impending destiny, swoops down upon Ike in a psychedellic haze, and rapidly urinates the very last drops of Miesterbrau that fell from the clutches of Vinny{Andy Garcia} moments before, onto his head. Creeped out, Ike runs to Willards and pounds on his door. For the final hour of the film, Ike pounds on Willards door. Eventually then joined by his Legion band members, they all pound on Willards door. Was Stone trying to shadow our states abomination of returning Vietnom vets, or was this a factual anomily, painting Willard {Kevin Bacon}as a pensitory reclusive mastermind/maguffin?
R Ebert	posted 12/7/04 10:16 PM     Two big thumbs up for O.Stone's long awaited surrealist masterpiece "The Last Festival". Deft use of the classic "Dream Weaver" and "Pretty Ballerina" during the poignant bathroom scene between gary tocco(Vincent Gallo) and Otto(Dagmar Von Schicklegruber). My only complaint being the lack of heavily cantilevred females featured. A wealth of so called "carpenter's dreams"( a term I find patently offensive)notwithstanding, I must confess I have a hankering for... well... BIG jugs of the cinematic sort. I found the love/seduction scene between Jim "Iron James" Fronk(Toby McGuire) and the legendary BIG Suck(Christina Ricci) to be both erotic and hauntingly beautiful, very "last Tango In Paris" without the assplay. I am eagerly awaiting the rumoured sequel "After The Last festival".
Georges Franju	posted 12/8/04 8:40 AM     The Last Festival:The Family That Plays Together Must Go Their Separate Ways.Is there anything to learn from Stones Monumental tragedy or is there anything actually entertaining?(Barring the hilarious bologna incident, fat men sweating profusely on acid ,and of course Motley Crue My Wrists) Oh Bollocks Its not that monumental or tragic, Yet the film holds an important view of societal evolution ,ask yourslves would Hugh(Adrian Edmunson),Ike(Linda Blair and in a David Lynch type transformation becoming Stutterman John),or Vinny(Dwight Frye)still speak so fondly of Fest in the post credit sequence if the incident was truly the dabacle portrayed ,as usual in films of this type things were never as bad or good as the directors would lead us to believe.
(Not So)Cross Lester	posted 12/11/04 4:17 AM     All Right, you Crusters!!!!! This is what I'm talking about!! Funny friggin' stuff! Lots of people humiliated and degraded in true heartfelt and loving fashion. Incidentally, did any of you catch the Awards ceremony at Cannes for the "Last Festival"? For a split second on the red carpet gary Tocco pulled up that tight taffetta number he was wearing exposing a freshly shaved vagina to papparazzi and assorted onlookers. Frankly, I found it shocking, yet somehow strangely erotic. Must have been the weed and PBR's. I'm typically not into that stuff.
Alan Smithee	posted 12/11/04 9:47 AM     Cross,I missed it at Cannes,but had a chance to screen it at Sundance.I especially enjoyed the cinematography. The breakaway box innovation gave us a look into the world of Willard's gin mill.Hugh's couch of many objects,and Ike's dinner interrogations.The violence I believe was a bit extreme. Did Sicker need to employ such extreme techniques at Tehans?Did Rock and roll Ang need to explode!?Why did Dutchie leave a steamer on the coffee table?One can only stand back and think, I wonder, could this could be my family?
Denggar	posted 12/14/04 4:19 AM     AL,I heard that Sundance was outrageous. Hot tubbin' with Simpaquinas, snorting lines with the Twiddler, chicken wing eating contests with the Dizbuster. Man, what a life! It's rumoured that the DVD is gonna be chock full of goodies like: Doc Veg commentary track, the short feature "Bill Devlin goes to the dentist", a $1.00 off coupon for a brew from Gary Tocco, and a raffle ticket good for a chance to win a sleepover rock and roll fantasy camp adventure featuring Ike, Chinsen, Rippers, the Banger, Willard, General Joint, the Jiggler, Pineapple, Power Dog, and Mike "the MXR Waste" Sowak. Unfortunately, neither Jim "Iron James" Fronk or Gary Tocco will be there. Fronk isn't allowed to and Tocco's not supposed to travel on female hormones. Bummer, huh? Negotiations are in progress to get Dutch Idle to cater the event. Can you say Buffalo Style Chicken Wings?
JackMacBlades	posted 12/14/04 5:23 PM       I smelled Oliver Stone's sandwich..and it smelled like Ron Kovic..!
Black-Crack Raids	posted 12/15/04 4:55 PM       "THE ULTIMATE PARTY" would probably be at a rented suite at the HolidayInn. I know the head of security there so we could pretty much raise as much hell as we wanna. The degenerates attending would consist of Vinny,MartinScorsese,Ike,BurgerBill,Quentin Tarrentino,Hugh,WoodyHarrelson,Rapp,Mir aSorvino,Katman,Boag,JulietteLewis,Lamm ers,that dark-haired chick from"The O.C",Diz,BudgieBill,MorganFreeman,JohnR ogers,JohnC.Rielly,KyleGlass,CarlFrietag,th e dude who was in Tacco's art class that used to look up to Willard,IceCube,KevinJablonski,BillMurray, WastedWillie,MichaelMoore,FatherBoeck,Li ndseyLohan,StacieHiemback,WilliamH.Mac y,Dutchie Idol, and David Spade{ just to watch CarlB kick his ass} .
IKE	posted 12/16/04 2:56 PM     I'd like to host the ultimate party at the Skyline Motel on Central Ave. I promise to drink too much Yukon ,puke in the sink ,slap my family around and sexually harass Juliette Lewis.
Onward Virgin Soldier	posted 12/19/04 1:07 AM     Once. At the Skylane Motel. On Central avenue. In Colonie. I had sex. It was with a girl. She was very pretty. I'm not even lying. I also got hit in the face. With coldcuts. And wrestled. With Power Dog and Scottie Zad. Chinsen and I watched TV. It was "Nightmare On Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors" It wasn't even scary.In fact.It chewed. Big time. We threw pretzels at the screen. And laughed. A lot. Dokken did the theme song. They suck. Chinsen said he liked that "Breakin' The Chains" song. I begged to differ. We used to have a lot of fun. Sometimes I still do. Sometimes. That's my Skylane story. It's if you like it. You know?
chinsin	posted 12/23/04 2:08 AM     Dokken sucks
chinsin	posted 12/23/04 2:08 AM     Dokken sucks
chinsin	posted 12/23/04 2:08 AM     Dokken sucks
chinsin	posted 12/23/04 2:08 AM     Dokken sucks
chillsen	posted 12/23/04 4:45 PM       NO...they Rock!
chillsen	posted 12/23/04 4:46 PM       NO...they Rock!
Ultimate Chimpy	posted 12/24/04 2:33 AM       C'mon Chinsen!!! Will ya! Ya know ya worship them. Oh I'm so sorry... that's right! It was actually "Into the Fire" you lived for! Thanks so much for correcting me! I was positively wracked with guilt at my flagrant and egregious error. Now that it's been brought to my attention I realise that there's a HUGE difference between the two songs. I must admit I'm somewhat partial to the "Back For The Attack" era of Dokken. Uh... no... not really. In fact, I think they actually suck. Kiss too. "Peace Of Mind" is my favourite.
Ultimate Chimpy	posted 12/24/04 2:33 AM       C'mon Chinsen!!! Will ya! Ya know ya worship them. Oh I'm so sorry... that's right! It was actually "Into the Fire" you lived for! Thanks so much for correcting me! I was positively wracked with guilt at my flagrant and egregious error. Now that it's been brought to my attention I realise that there's a HUGE difference between the two songs. I must admit I'm somewhat partial to the "Back For The Attack" era of Dokken. Uh... no... not really. In fact, I think they actually suck. Kiss too. "Peace Of Mind" is my favourite.
THE REAL CHINSEN	posted 12/25/04 3:45 PM     OH! HOW PROVOCATIVE Yeah, you got my attentionYOU WEAR OLD UNDERPANTS ARRRF ARRF AAARF,Hilarious Beano!
THE REAL CHINSEN	posted 12/25/04 3:47 PM     OH! HOW PROVOCATIVE Yeah, you got my attention.DO YOU WEAR OLD UNDERPANTS ?ARRRF ARRF AAARF,Hilarious Beano!
Sadako Waites	posted 12/27/04 9:56 PM     Oh you sad, sad man. I think everyone knows that the so called "Old underpants" have long since been laid to rest, mercifully. Dude, that's so like... mid nineties. Jurassic, really. I've sported nothing but a sarong(a longyii actually as it's Burmese), purchased in Tachileik, Myanmar, since last spring. Pants? Who needs 'em? can ya think of a good bust for that? Well can ya, punk? That's right! Real men wear sarongs(and kilts)!
Ultimate chimpy	posted 1/1/05 1:39 AM       I shave my armpits too, dearest ones... WWBGKT(what would BIG guy Kev think?)? Feel free to retaliate. I have a fairly formidable vocab, and I'm not a-scared to lash out, uh... verbally that is. Fear the Ultimate Chimpy!!!!
THE REALLY REAL CHINSEN	posted 1/13/05 10:10 AM     You shave your armpits?Hmmm ..sounds wuss,but i'll give you the benefit of a doubt.Drink some brews and listen to TRANSMANIACON MC.You'll probably come around.
hygene the dancing machine	posted 1/15/05 8:02 PM     Nooooo-Shave! For 4 days I 've been Staying unshaved and stinky..this morning I shook my thang to" A Hard Road" and was disturbed by odors resembling big doms oniony sub with anal stank of rotting baked goods{ a hard roll?!}..So, I showered,shaved and brushed my cig stained gaping maw, but refused to glance below my neck, paranoid that I might catch a glance at the picnic of horror's that is the body festival..subconsiously prefering to remain all caveman, leaping knome and leprechaun in the hood-like, who refuses his metro-sexual urges to appear/feel trimmed and presentably naked..if I was still doing gay porn, yes-Id care..but now..there are things of wich I may not speak-and there are dreams that cannot die.There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak-and bring a palour to the cheek-and a mist before the eye..And the words of that fatal song-come over me like a CHILL--A boy's Will..Is the wind's Will..and the thought's of youth-are long long thoughts. http://www.kongisking.net tasty treats for you and me
hygene the dancing machine	posted 1/15/05 8:25 PM     Nooooo-Shave! For 4 days I 've been Staying unshaved and stinky..this morning I shook my thang to" A Hard Road" and was disturbed by odors resembling big doms oniony sub with anal stank of rotting baked goods{ a hard roll?!}..So, I showered,shaved and brushed my cig stained gaping maw, but refused to glance below my neck, paranoid that I might catch a glance at the picnic of horror's that is the body festival..subconsiously prefering to remain all caveman, leaping knome and leprechaun in the hood-like, who refuses his metro-sexual urges to appear/feel trimmed and presentably naked..if I was still doing gay porn, yes-Id care..but now..there are things of wich I may not speak-and there are dreams that cannot die.There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak-and bring a palour to the cheek-and a mist before the eye..And the words of that fatal song-come over me like a CHILL--A boy's Will..Is the wind's Will..and the thought's of youth-are long long thoughts. http://www.kongisking.net tasty treats for you and me
Ultimate Chimpy	posted 1/16/05 0:46 AM     That's pretty damn cool and all, but mostly, after a cool clean shave of my lovely, silky smooth armpits, I like to cue up the Psychedelic Fur's "Pretty In Pink" and dance like Molly Ringwald. All uninhibited, with the requisite gay abandon. I know it sounds a little weird, but it really isn't. Besides when I do it, I can FLY LIKE A DAMN COCAINE! I'm serious. BOC rock, indeed...
Panky's Machine	posted 1/29/05 2:00 AM     When push comes to shove, I enjoy tripping the light fantastic to side 2 of Elton john's seminal "Captain fantastic and the brown dirt cowboy". Try it! It's pretty cool! It's fun to experiment! I also find role playing to be awfully satisfying, but remember to always use a power word! El Duce says(from beyond the grave, sadly)"Play safe kiddies!"
Panky's Machine	posted 1/29/05 2:00 AM     When push comes to shove, I enjoy tripping the light fantastic to side 2 of Elton john's seminal "Captain fantastic and the brown dirt cowboy". Try it! It's pretty cool! It's fun to experiment! I also find role playing to be awfully satisfying, but remember to always use a power word! El Duce says(from beyond the grave, sadly)"Play safe kiddies!"
Full Metal Panks	posted 5/19/05 10:13 AM     Just sitting on the beach in Sihanoukville, Cambodia watching the azure sea ebb and flow, as I tap-tap(tap a window...), and the day drifts by. At this moment I really don't miss the states. Draft brews are .75 and there's ample Squid-On-A-Stick. Granted the Minnihaha is nowhere in sight, but neither are there any fucking pigs handing out chickenshit tickets. Almost time to go home and take a nap... Yesterday's fun today... bo-dee-o-do!! I want some major BJ(and the Bear!)Blades action happening this summer, as I may be in town to observe. Don't disappoint me, man!
Ringfinger	posted 5/19/05 2:58 PM     I remember finding out about jew everyday my hind is all around ugh Looking out at my lonely gloom dai after dai. bringie home babi maki soon . dai after dai. I give my love to uugh. I remember holding ugh while you sleeped everyday i feel the tears that you reek. lickin' out at my lonly groom I give mai luv to ugh. http://http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?coll=sfe-events-headlines&index=1
too much to drink-not enough HP Lovecraft" REQUESTS:	posted 5/21/05 5:05 AM       "Its Whiz Cheesy-Cheesy-When Diz Makers always tryin to squeeze cheese,baby"..or How about-"He was Cheese Wizzard of a thousand kings.."?
Smoked Gouda	posted 5/21/05 8:10 AM     Don Jazialo and the Lost Temple Of Doomed Cheesewhiz. It never gets olde! Trust me. Now if we could just somehow marry it to Ron Japp/Smokie Links I think we might have chance on public access or some other comedic forum. Pure magic! Let the cheese flow free and smooth, and remember kids, don't look for Cheesewhiz in the cheese section! Gotta love ya!
President Johnson	posted 7/16/05 11:27 PM     I want one of those "I Like Ike" buttons from back in the fifties. Can ya still get 'em ya think? Tell me that wouldn't rule to wear to a Jack Black Blades show! Has "Burning Acid Chirps" re-entered the set yet? I'm all ears, man. Electric, acoustic, it's all good, as they say... Can ya do it, Ike? Pretty please?
King Swisher Sweet	posted 9/2/05 3:04 AM     What was that Lost Breed song about all the former band members? I recall it as being pretty damn funny. There was a line about '2 losers we'll never forget' or summat?! The 'Iron'content of past members was all over the place. Some were sorely lacking, perhaps due to menstruation? What about that guy who did 'the Fish' all the time? What happened to him? Or the guy who was afraid of ants? What about that little Neanderthal dude with the mega-metal voice? Lotsa weirdos, huh? What about the kid who thought that it 'wasn't right' when Slots spooned him in San Diego? What does he think about it now in hind sight, as it were? Does he regret what he should have done, as a Tri-City Area sage once so eruditely put it, or was he'Iron clad and ready to fight'? I sure hope not... Violence solves very little unless in the tough but fair hands(and feet) of OP when delivering richly deserved hordes to masses of peons. Vengeance Tour '84!
Codpiece face	posted 9/6/05 8:06 AM     Yeah go ahead and laugh' just because I'm my sisters dads mothers girlfriends aunts cousin ,doesn't make me a weirdo ( well not in west virginie anyway. Puh! Puh !)
Hey Katie(gettin' Buttered!)	posted 9/9/05 4:46 AM     Larry Norman is my personal hero and I have a very intimidating stage presence. I hate it when Slots doesn't flush the toilet, letting the logs float free. "Victim Of Changes" changed my life even before I knew Halford was a twist. Pleased to meet you.Can ya guess my name?
The Wonderer	posted 10/19/05 0:40 AM     I wonder what Smilin' John Vogel is doing right now? Or John From Texas? Or what about Sarge, that Spam slinging freak? Is Screamin' Bob still screaming or has his stentorian roar been reduced to a whimper? Has anyone seen Dickard St. John? What about Gary Falcone? I heard Chinsen canned Jame("Gang")Fogg. No Hatpants for the kids evidently... Does Shocker Lane still rule? More than Rapp? Let me know!

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