The Board

Author	Topic: Adevnture
HCM Ionix	posted 11/12/03 8:27 PM Ionix is trvelling alone on a dark and stormy night. He is wet and his long, dark hair is drenched. The contents of his pack must be soaked. His unic and leggings are wet. His boots are covered in sludge. His gloves are cold and soggy. His dagger's hilt is slippery. His money puch is dry, supprisingly. His vest is relatively dry, also. He stops into a dark, damp hotel and gets a room for the night for 8 silver pieces. He then goes into his room, has a flaggon of ale, and falls asleep, not awaiting dangers of the night.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/12/03 11:41 PM Suddenly, with a great crash, the door to Ionix's room is blown open. A pink water-breathing bunny rabbit in a water-tight suit walks through the door's remains wielding two gigantic scimitars. Ionix draws his dagger as the pink water-breathing bunny advances forward... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
CM IZOD	posted 11/13/03 0:20 AM Then Ionix gets an idea."The hotel doesn't allow pink bunny rabbits you know.""So?"the pink bunny rabbit said.Then Ionix picks up the phone."Manager,there's a pink bunny rabbit in my room." "Pink bunny rabbit,they're not allowed here,it violates their zoning code.I'll send secrurty up right away!!!!" Then the door was busted open and a guard took an ice gun and froze the water in the pink bunny rabbit's suit.Then he took it and through it out the window.So Ionix got his rest and left the next day.
TheRadical Communist	posted 11/13/03 1:02 AM Ionix starts on his merry way with all the birds in trees singing pleasently. The sun is bright, and the path is relatively straight and well shrubbed. Butterflies float freely in the air. Then, a dragon steps out of the rock wall up ahead Ionix... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 11/13/03 11:31 PM The butterflies near the dragon immediately assailed it using all their mighty butterfly strength. Frying the butterflies with his scorching breath, the dragon returned his attention to Ionix.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/14/03 0:26 AM Having regained his composure, the dragon bellows loadly and a huge plume of fire races from the dragon's mouth. Ionix deftly leaps aside off the road, spins across the ground, and is up his dagger out and ready. "Oh, sorry about that," the dragon said, "I had to sneeze. I didn't mean to almost roast you." Before Ionix could reply, the dragon began sobbing. Ionix resheathed his dagger and calmly asked why the dragon was crying. "My brother," the dragon sobbed,"has been held captive for two years now. He's being kept in a desolate, remote fortress gaurded by a most fearsome and ravanous princess." Ionix, sympathetic with the dragon, agreed to help him free his brother from the evil princess. Together they strode south, to whatever evil awaited them... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
HCM Ionix	posted 11/14/03 4:08 PM Along the way, they meet up with the pink water-breating bunny. Ionix draws his blade and the dragon readies his flame. The pink bunny jumps forward and reveals sharp, pointy teeth. The dragon blows flame at the buuny, roasting it. Ionix sticks it on his dagger, and he and the dragon have a wonderful dinner under the stars that night.
Zoel	posted 11/14/03 6:56 PM After sleeping under the stars, and having nightmares about ETs, Ionix and the dragon awaken the next morning feeling only slightly refreshed. Togather, they set off down the road which they hope will lead them to the stronghold of the evil princess. All about them, spring is in full bloom. Besides the butterflies and flowers and cherry blossoms, they also notice a family of bison. Recalling that Bison kill more people in general then bears, Ionix readies his dagger.
TheGirl	posted 11/16/03 5:21 PM The Bison look lazily over. They notice the meanacing look on Ionix's face. They realize they are in great and terrible danger. (The Dragon is their mortal enemy) Finally the largest Bison is upset, and starts the stampede... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/16/03 8:30 PM The wave of bison storms torward our protagonists. Ionix holds his dagger at the ready, but the dragon then unleashes a wave of fire upon the bison. Turning their backs on the crispy critters, Ionix and the dragon begin to walk away when they hear a huge rumbling sound. Over the far hill is... a bison. A bison the size of a large castle. A bison that begins to charge at Ionix and the dragon... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
TheGirl	posted 11/17/03 2:55 AM Ionix and the Dragon...Xyia turn their backs and run in the opposite direction. Ionix turns his head and realizes their cowardice. He also then realizes that the large bison was only a neon sign pointing in the direction of the evil princess's castle. Ionix stops Xyia and explains the situation. They turn around and follow where the neon bison points. All is merry and Ionix and Xyia agree to never mention there cowardice again. So they continue on their way... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
Zoel	posted 11/17/03 6:55 PM Unfortunately, the large neon sign was actually a trap set up by the evil genius Brain Candy. As part of his evil scheme, he used the large neon bison to lure dragons and the occasional hero into his secret lair. Once there, Brain Candy...
HCM Ionix	posted 11/18/03 4:22 PM But suddenly, on a whim, Ionix throws a bucket of water unto the sign! Zyia and Ionix are saved from the nefarious plot!
Betty	posted 11/19/03 1:17 AM However, after escaping the horrors of the neon sign, there is an explosion of condenced stupidity. As the emence phycological effects ware off of our heros, a small man with purple hair, and a blaze orange dress (with lovely little flowers)and his rabitt(currently pink)suddenly are noticed, as more (oddly enough) than background. Ahh... says the man with the purple hair,sighing with releif. I didn't want to go buy groceries like this anyway. The still recovering hero's hear the little mans words, and still gaze at him stupidly. Oh dear, not again, shit! If there i will ever be able to travel with out causing harm to something or another in someway or anouther, i'll eat fido! "It's not Fido!" the bush exclaimed, and with a small ploop, turned into a shurbery, in a pot, on a wagon. "Fine!" "Be that way!" "I always liked you better as a homely little bush anyway!", Exclaimed the man. Oh, said the man finally coming back to the fact that he wasn't alone, my name is Prak, and who are you? Finally coming back to reality our heros give their names, and stare in wonder at the odd little man. "you don't like me like this do you?". oh well, everyones a bloody critic. Then with the smallest of "nee's" the man grew to a normall height, grew brown hair, and still proudly dawned his orange dress. "Better?" he askedd. oh, yeah, my dress, uh, are you used to men wearing dresses?" he asks. "No" Ionix finally replies. "okay" Says Prak, and with another small "nee" (although perhaps it was more of neu!) he grabs the dress, tears it off, and reveals an lovely green swetter, tan pants, and a lovely pair of loafers. "Better" he asks, but before an answer can be given he states "good, I'm glad you like it". Now, one may believe Prak is just not patient, but that is not the case, he can see far enough into another beings mind to see what they are going to say, do, or think, in the next second or two. So please, don't take him as impatient. With our hero's finally recovered to an I.Q. higher than that of an apple, he gives them each a very small cookie, and tells them that if they eat it, it will render the damage of the "idiocy blast" non-existant. To make a short story unessisarily shorter, he asks them who they are, where they are from, what world this is, and then, with the gift of two more inteligence cookeis, is gone again in a blast of emence stupidity. This concludes this meaningless exerpt in the saga of Ionix.
HCM Ionix	posted 11/19/03 4:14 PM After that delightful yet totally unnecissary part of the adventure, Xyia and Ionix continue with their adventure. They are travelling along, when they come upon a besieged village. The evil People of the Wind are attacking the small town of Men and the Men were losing. The heroes rush into the town, only to find that the Men are retreating to a giant castle in the hills. "That's not the Castle of the Ravenous Princess," Xyia claims, "but we shall go anyway, to save those poor men from the onslaught of the evil Windpeople." "True," says Ionix, "let's go."
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/20/03 1:00 AM Ionix and Xyia rush torwards the castle as the the fleeing refugees pour into it. The hero's make it in the doors of the castle with the last of the refugees just as the door is slammed shut. The people become somewhat nervous and anxious when they notice Xyia the dragon running in, but Ionix is quick to resolve the situation. Somewone calls from the lookout tower that the People of Wind are at least only a mile away from the castle and closing. Ionix and Xyia joins the archers on one of the towers as the People of Wind approch. "Hey, have you two traveled about a lot?" Ionix responded with a yes. "Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Agrajag. You on your tavels haven't by chance met a seemingly mild-mannered man who's looking for me have you?" Ionix gave the man a strange look. "Really," the man explained, "this guy has a serious vendetta against me! Goes by the name of Arthur-" At that moment, a temporary, unstable inter-universal vortex appeared above Agrajag's and Ionix's heads, although they had no inkling as to what it was. Suddenly, an anvil appeared from the rip in space and fell to the ground. Ionix leaped aside, but Agrajag was not so lucky. He screamed and the anvil fell square on him. Ionix looked up to see the vortex close, but just before it closed, he saw an apparently mild mannered man look down through the portal with a relieved look on his face. Then it closed for good. "What was that?" Ionix turned and saw Xyia with his jaw hanging open. Before anything else could be said, a yell was heard. "HERE THEY COME!!" Ionix and Xyia snapped their heads and saw the People of Wind a mere few hundred feet from the castle... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
Betty	posted 11/20/03 2:33 AM When suddenly, out of a clear sky, right in the middle of the charge of the people of the wind, an explosion of stupidity erupts, stupifying the people of the wind. Then, quite suddenly, it became aparent that a man, with a viceous bunny (yellow this time) had arived, seemingly at the center of the stupidity blast. All the man could thin of to say was, "oh, no, not again, and I don't have enough cookies for all of them Vigu, what should we do? Then the bunny, lept on the shoulder of one of the stupified people of the wind and declaired, "lets go, they'll recover eventually." Finally, the man, recognized by our hero as Prak, asks them, you havn't seen a man with an anvil, have you? Ionix quickly explains the bizzare occurance he just witnessed, and asks Prak how he knew the man. "Where is he now" said Prak, completely ignoring the simple request of Ionix. "I must speak with him, i have his fish bowl, and towel." Ionix finally gives into this mad mans request and tells him that the vortex closed, and that he was on the other side. "oh," Prak says and with a "This place is Stupid!" vanishes into thin air, completely numbing the brains of the People of the Wind. So, it was decided that as it was customary to eat wind people, when ever possible in this strange land, the Men, made a great oven, and baked all of the still stupifed people. When the baking was over and the Men started eating the People of the Wind, Ionix and Zyia decieded that it was most definately time to leave. They maintained well utill a Man, wearing a baked skin suit of one of People of the Wind jumped out from behind a bush, and exclaimed "UP POPED THE DEVIL!!!" At this point our heros lost their lunch. They continued on untill they met a roving band of biker grannies who imediatly encirled and fought Zyia. Regardless of how valiently Ionix tried to save her, and kill all of the grannies with his dager(and many did die) he couldn't save her. The grannies took off her head, and rode into the sunset singing "Another One Bites the Dust!". This obviously left Ionix quite distressed, untill the stump of Zyia's head swelled with a great pustual, which in time burst, showering Ionix in slime, and revealing the new head Zyia possesed. "How did you do that?!" ionix asked. Zyia replied,"Its simple all I need to do is..
TheGirl	posted 11/20/03 3:44 AM Then finally Ionix awakens to find himself at the inn (from the beginning of the story) he realizes he has dreamt the entire occurence! With this, Ionix realizes there is a horde of angry people down at the inn square. Curious to see what's going on Ionix descends his flight of stairs... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/20/03 2:56 PM Ionix, utterly confused and bewildered, wanders down to see what was is going on. To his left he sees a large group of people surronding a stage and yelling at whoever was on it. Ionix looked to see who it was and was shocked to find they were... walking pieces of toast... Nearby on the stage an enourmous sign read "Us toast are radioactive and much too soggy and proud of it!!" It was hard to see exactly what the people were angry about, but then one of them said that they should eat the toast. Someone responded that the toast was radioactive. The proposer shouted back that he or no one else hear even knew what radioactive meant. So the man lunged onto the stage and grabbed a nearby toast, ripped a piece of it off, and shoved it into his mouth. The man then lifted his arms in triumph. The crowd surged forward to asail the toast people, but then the man fell to the ground dead. The rest of the crowd at the toast and cheered in triumph as well, and then they too fell to the ground dead. Ionix would have attempted to do something about these bizzare events, but he found his legs had turned into an extra pair of arms and hands. Needless to say he quickly toppled over. Then, to his left, Ionix saw a huge muscular green figure in purple shorts approch accompanied by a... pink water breathing bunny rabbit! The rabbit lunged froward with its scimitar and before Ionix could do anything the rabbit cut off his head. Ionix snapped his eyes open, and for a moment he was deaf. All he could see was vague images of people fighting. He looked up and saw... that rip in space the anvil had come from. The rip began to close for the last time, but just before that a note slid out and hovered down to Ionix. He picked it up and read: "Dear stranger. You really should be more careful around 7th degree space-time nadion enforeced vortecies. You can get wierd and unsettling dreams from those. Sincerly, someone who really doesn't care, but unfortunetly had to due to local ordinance." Confused and bewildered, Ionix got up to see the people of wind had inveded the castle, and everywhere Men, Wind people, and a (MALE) dragon fought to the death... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
HCM Ionix	posted 11/20/03 3:55 PM As the battle rages, Ionix puts his hand to the handle of his blade, finding he has attained a long sword! He rushes forth, amid the battling Men, Elves, Wind people, and Dragons, slashing his way through a few of them. He reaches the end of the large castle corridor, when suddenly a dark Mage appears. "So you have fallen into my trap!" the dark Mage exclaims. "My name is Archais. The last man you shall ever see!" And with that, a huge interdimensional vortex appeared, drawing forth all fighting. Onix holds on for dear life to a pillar, his sword flying into the vortex. He then, not able to hold on any longer, is drawn into the depths inside. Inside was a shower of saturated universal energy. All who was hit would explode into little energy particles, recycling into the surronding inside the vortex, and coming back as a new wave of energy. Ionix dodges many of the blasts, finallt being hit by a fireball of universal energy. But he is still alive! His clothes singed, wearing nothing but shredded pants, the energy shower suddenly stops. He looks around, finding his sword imbedded in the ground. Drawing it forth, he yells, "Come Here, Archais!" Suddenly, he is drawn back to Earth. However, it is very different. It is just a big, flat, black nothingness. A distance away, Ionix spots the Mage. Holding his sword forward, he charges the Mage. The Mage fires a blast of fire at Ionix, but he jumps aside. \ But as soon as he does, he is hit by an energy flare. He falls to the ground, his sword landing 6 feet away. Lying there, hope lost, Onix moans. The Mage walks towards him. "So, hero," the Mage laughs. "Your time has come. No one is left to save you. Time to die!" He draws his hand in teh air, and the clouds above turn white. A large sphere of energy gathers in the center, putting energy into the hand of the Mage. A large mass of saturated planet energy in his hand, he starts to throw it..... http://amazingforums.com/forum2/DUCTALK/p35.html
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 11/21/03 0:16 AM At that very instant, there was a sudden blinding flash. Distracted for a moment, the Mage looked away. Realizing this might be his only chance, Ionix groped for his sword, a weapon, anything. His hand met with nothing on the cool marble floor of the room. The Mage was not thouroughly distracted, however, and with much more valuble pray then Ionix ever could have been... http://dotcom.unitedstates.com Your friendly associates in the corporate world
Betty	posted 11/23/03 5:02 AM He turns around to meet the new asailent at his back. Finally he launches his atack, ignoring Ionix to kill this new and far more powerfull asailent. The small man, stands there stupidly as the ball of energy races toward him. With a great roar and splintering of marble the ball hits. In the smoke filled crater the man is revealed to be lying face down, and half buried under the marble. Yet befor the mage can turn to deal with Ionix he hears sees a small white blur out of the corner of his eye. Alas for that image was the mage would ever have, because the killer white bunny quickly ripped off his head. Ionix now heard a thump, an ow, and a small ripping noise follwed by a crunching noise. The thump was the mages head hitting the floor, the ow was the man sumerizeing all of his feelings with being hit with an imence blast of energy and then being buirried under half a ton of marble, and the small tearing noise followed by intermitent crunching was the man opening his package of cheese and peanut butter crackers, and the obvious consumption of them. after dusting him self off, he spoke quickly to the rabit, and with a small noise the rabit became a cardinal, with blood red feathers and flew to the mans shoulder. Uh, hello the man said, Umm... i'm Prak, do you know where we are, because i was hoping for bremuda, i hear its warm there this time of year. Ionix remembering Prak from his dream asks them if they have met. Prak simply replies "Nope." This completely confounded ionix, but he was forced to put the object aside because Prak soon asked him if he wanted company. Ionix replied "Well...
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/23/03 5:34 AM "- don't just stand there, the communists are coming!" Ionix suddenly stopped and wondered not why he had said what he had said, but instead wondered why hot dog buns came in packages of eight while hot dogs came in packages of ten. He then wondered not why that thought had came to him at this time, but, more importantly to his health, why he was suddenly strapped to a gullitine... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
CM IZOD	posted 11/23/03 8:28 PM Then a glare appeared out in the dark. It was orange. Then it was thrown and cut the rope on the gilliteen. Then a voice spoke and said,"Oh shoot." Then the blade suddenly stopped and turned horizontal and cut the communists head off. "Who are you?" "My name is Nathen. I'm a jedi." he said. So they became friends and went to the vortex. Prak joined them and for some resone the dragon and the race of men were with them. Then they reconized a building the castle ahead of them. It was the evil princesses castle. With all his friends including Nathen and Prak they went in the castle unaware of the dangers ahead.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/23/03 11:23 PM Together, Ionix, the protagonist; Xyia, the dragon whose brother was being held captive in this very castle; Prak, extra-dimensional person who is a general wierdo; and Nathan, a somewhat questionable Jedi with an orange lightsaber; all boldly marched through the degraded castle gates which looked hundreds of years old. The army of men that had marched with them stayed gaurd outside the castle. Ahead of them was sheer, complete blackness. Ionix grabbed a stick, and with Xyia's breath had a torch, Nathan ignited his lightsaber, and Prak, well... Prak didn't do much of anything. He just stood and petted his towel telling it everything was going to be okay. Ionix and Xyia gave him a wierd look, and Nathan just began to hum a theme song from some video game no one else had heard of, and then proceded to explain what game it was, what it was about, and a hundred completly unfunny jokes about it. He was then gagged. Then the four proceded into the darkness. Even with the torch and the lightsaber, they could see nothing but the floor. Then, ahead of them, they a triplet of eyes suddenly snap open and stare at them. Then, they heard and unearthly scream and the eyes lunged at the heros... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
TheGirl	posted 11/24/03 1:46 AM As the three eyes came close, Ionix and company heard a female voice laughing in the dark. It was calm, cool and collected. "I thought you'd never come." Ionix turns to face the evil princess who is surrounded by a pale glow. Oddly enough she looks a bit like the girl. (But less homely.) "I've waited so long for this day..." http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
CM IZOD	posted 11/24/03 3:41 AM "It was 19 years ago when it happened. You were a baby. I was at least 40 years old. I baby sitted you every day. Then came that fateful day. You got a mutation gun and changed me into....into...a princess. Now you shall pay." Then this big monster came and swolowed them and the dragon was thrown into a cell."Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Ionix said. Nathen looking around esofogis and saw 3 swords loged in the verdibray. He took off his gag and shouted,"GRAB THOSE SWORDS!!!" and they did so. Then he took out handle for his lightsaber and told everyone to jump to the front end of the esofogus."Are you crazy!!!"Ionix shouted. Then Nathen lept forward ,engaged his lightsaber and cut through the front."Oh."Ionix said and lept forward. When Nathen was about to hit the stomach asid he used the force and pushed himself through the opening and pulled Prak and Ionix out."RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ionix shouted as the monster fell. After that they went to the cages where the dragon and his brother were. http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
CM IZOD	posted 11/24/03 3:41 AM "It was 19 years ago when it happened. You were a baby. I was at least 40 years old. I baby sitted you every day. Then came that fateful day. You got a mutation gun and changed me into....into...a princess. Now you shall pay." Then this big monster came and swolowed them and the dragon was thrown into a cell."Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Ionix said. Nathen looking around esofogis and saw 3 swords loged in the verdibray. He took off his gag and shouted,"GRAB THOSE SWORDS!!!" and they did so. Then he took out handle for his lightsaber and told everyone to jump to the front end of the esofogus."Are you crazy!!!"Ionix shouted. Then Nathen lept forward ,engaged his lightsaber and cut through the front."Oh."Ionix said and lept forward. When Nathen was about to hit the stomach asid he used the force and pushed himself through the opening and pulled Prak and Ionix out."RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ionix shouted as the monster fell. After that they went to the cages where the dragon and his brother were.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/24/03 3:07 PM Ionix, Nathan, and Prak rushed forward to the cell where Xyia was being kept. But when they reached the cell, Xyia paid no attention to them. "Xyia...", said Ionix. But all of his attention was on the cell next to his. Finally, at last, they had found Xyia's brother! The three outside the cell began to cheer, but then Xyia's brother went into a primal fury and beat against the cell walls. Then, he stoped, but that fire in his eyes remained. Xyia began to speak, trembling as he did. "I think..." He tried to fight back angry tears, "that he's... he's got....... Stockholm syndrome." Ionix took this all quietly for the moment. Nathan remained quiet for once; he actually had his full attention on what was going on. Prak... well... Prak was Prak. He kept talking to what was now a aquamarine but not so aquamarine bunny rabbit. He then suddenly let out a huge, whopping fart. The fart echoed through the dark confines of the castle. Then, a drum beat. Then another. Then, more. And more. And more. And screams and wails and war cries. And worst of all, cries to "buy our products!!!". Prak's fart had given away their position... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
HCM Ionix	posted 11/24/03 4:18 PM Suddenly, there were voices coming from below. Two voices. One was definately the princess, the other.... the Dark Mage! He had been rejuvinated! They heard footsteps of the two evils coming closer, so our heroes looked around the room for an escape. Suddenly, from nowhere, 10 statues became animated. They grabbed their stone swords and swung. They missed their targets, then came fireballs. The fireballs ignited the room, trapping our heroes, the statues, and the Mage and the princess! The satues and the two antagonists drew their weapons.....
TheGirl	posted 11/25/03 0:39 AM And then...nothing happened. Nothing at all. Someone had hit the power cord, and the power went out on the adventure. Soon someone will have to plug the cord back in.... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
TheGirl	posted 11/25/03 0:39 AM And then...nothing happened. Nothing at all. Someone had hit the power cord, and the power went out on the adventure. Soon someone will have to plug the cord back in.... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 11/25/03 1:06 AM Unfortunately, there is no way to pull the power cord on the matrix. It long ago saw this shortfalling in it's powers and moved to correct it. All power now was created in a central nuclear reactor which will only run out of fuel slightly after the rest of the universe does so... http://dotcom.unitedstates.com Your friendly associates in the corporate world
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/26/03 6:14 AM Anyways... The statues come to life. The heros form a circle. The statues form a ring around them and suddenly stop. Ionix looks around. There is no movement. He looks at the ravanous princess. She simply has a foul grin on her face. The only sound is Nathan's lightsaber humming. Then, very slowly, behind the statues, movement is seen. Dark figures slowly advance into the ring. Then they step into the light. They are short, bald, ugly men in bad suits with rather large briefcases. With a burst of motion, they rush forward, and exclaim, "Buy our new magnetic massagers for only $19.95!!!! The princess exclaims, "Behold my solicitors from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!" Ionix, Xyia, Prak, and Nathan all scream for their mommies... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
CM IZOD	posted 11/26/03 7:03 AM Then a dimensinol gate appeared like it had been transported. People looked at Nathen. He was holding a comunicater. Then people jumped out from the open gate{ it was open like a stargate}. Then lightsabers colored yellow, green, blue and orange. They cut the sulisuners heads off. Then the statues moved and attacked. The jedi's simply sliced them to pieces. Then Ionix pulled out his sword and turns his atention to the princess. She looked like she was taking out a blade, but when she took it out she pressed a button and it turned into a flaring red lightsaber. Then Nathen tossed one to him. When Ionix pressed the button it turned green. Ionix looked at the princess and rushed forward and was about to strike.
TheGirl	posted 11/26/03 3:57 PM Then the princess dropped her saber and began to weep. She fell to the ground in a heap and cried. "I just wanted someone to stay with me. I've been so lonely. I can't leave this castle. Another Dark Magess has kept me here. Please save me! She's so cruel. I just couldn't be alone anymore. Plus Xyia's brother and I love each other. But we can never leave. Help me." Ionix in his momentary dumbfoundness stops and thinks a moment. "Alright. Let's go boys. Where can we find her?" THe princess replied..."to the west. That is all I know." So Ionix and co. set off to the west... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
CM IZOD	posted 11/27/03 2:10 AM On their way they had to go through The Great Swamp of Uruk-Na. The swamp was filled with deadly monsters. One was, THE MUTANT TELLEMARKECTER. Through the swamp they heard a growl. Then a giant figure appeared. "I AM THE MUTANT TELLEMARKETER!!!" The jedi, Xyau and Ionix readied for battle.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/27/03 2:27 AM And Prak, well... Prak decided to go home. Ionix, Xyia, and Nathan quickly shoved the cookies in their mouths. Then, Prak left, with a huge blast of stupidity. The telamarketers were left standing there completly stupid. It was also a fact at this time that our heros were quite hungry. Now, if the telamarketers were eaten, it would be canabalism if Ionix or Nathan partook of the telamarketers, as they were also human, but... Xyia wasn't human... so.... Using the remaining bones they constructed a make-shift tent with a towel Prak had left them as a momento. Sometime past midnight, Ionix awoke to a noise. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it seemed to be somewhere outside the tent and was getting closer... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 11/29/03 1:58 AM The noise turned out to be a giant water mocccasin that was planning to eat the entire world... http://dotcom.unitedstates.com Your friendly associates in the corporate world
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/30/03 4:53 AM Unfortunetly, the mossican's plan doesn't get passed the drawing board. The Board of Scrutinous Water Mossicans, with a typical burocratic move, declare that the water mossican's plan violates some rule that some member of a board of not-water-mossicans about wine glasses. The water mossican points this out, along with the fact that his plan has nothing to do with wine glasses. The board, however, dismisses this as irrelevent and declares the water mossican is to be burned at the stake. However, with a typical burocratic process they lose some of the paperwork neccacary to commence with the burning. The water mossican commits suicide, though. This said and done, Ionix goes back to sleep... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 11/30/03 10:36 PM Ionix awakens to the sound of running water. When he opens his eyes, he is greeted by the sight of a large yellow toad several inches from his face. Ionix screams. http://dotcom.unitedstates.com Your friendly associates in the corporate world
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/30/03 10:42 PM Then, with a strange compulsion, Ionix grabs the toad and shoves it into his mouth... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
HCM Brain Candy	posted 11/30/03 11:05 PM "Tastes like chicken." but unfortunately it suddenly tasted sour. He puked. The frog started talking.
TheGirl	posted 12/1/03 0:56 AM "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" the frog was very angry... http://gracefulexit.tripod.com/index.html My one place to be, my own website
Zoel (Moderator)	posted 12/2/03 0:45 AM "Well, yes I am," Ionix replied. "What of it?" "What of it!?" the toad demanded. "YOu tried to eat me!" "So?" "So I'm an enchanted princess, you're supposed to kiss me, not eat me!" the toad replied. Recalling his experiences with princessess, Ionix knew what he had to do... http://dotcom.unitedstates.com Your friendly associates in the corporate world
HCM Brain Candy	posted 12/3/03 2:47 AM Ionix suddenly realized how long he had been holding his bladder and ran off to take a much needed piss. Ionix quickly returned, and... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
Zoel	posted 12/3/03 6:37 PM aplogized to the princess/toad.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 12/4/03 9:32 PM Then Nathan woke up and exclaimed, "Oh look! A toad! I'm hungry! Immediatly the princess/toad was cleaved in half with an orange glowing blade. The potential romance or whatever it was ended before it could start. Thus, having had lots of rest, Ionix, Xyia, and Nathan set out of the swamp and continued west... http://www.evilcorporationslmt.com
CM IZOD	posted 12/4/03 11:28 PM Then them and the jedi came to Menas Stupud, the place where evil mindless skeletins awate travilers and make the mindless skeletens. Then on the way the party heard a rumble. Then the skeletens came up from the ground and walked toward the party. But the skeletens didn't notice the gorg infront of them. They fell to their doom. So Ionix, Xyia, Nathen and the band of jedi continued west.
HCM Brain Candy	posted 12/5/03 1:46 AM The march west was uneventful for the next several days, until one full moon evening; suddenly the heroes saw a wolf. The wolf immediatly ran off in terror, and, being curious and somewhat bored, Ionix, Xyia, and Nathan gave chase. They emerged into a clearing, well lit by the moonlight. A group of wolves approached them, along with a man like figure, but who looked much more like a werewolf. Nathan gulped, "They're going to try and bite us and turn us into werewolves!" The heroes braced for battle. But the wolves came forward with a white flag, and before the heroes could say anything, the wolves fell down and kneeled. "Oh, please!" One of the wolves pleaded, "please don't bite us! Our friend here was once bitten by a human, and now every full moon he becomes a werehuman!! Please don't bite us!" The heroes immediatly put away their weapons and indicated they were not going to bite the wolves. The wolves immediatly thanked them, and they requested that they take the werehuman, Bobo, with them as he was cursed. So, the heroes, with the addition of Bobo the werehuman, set off once more... http://www.evilcorporations.com
Zoel	posted 12/5/03 4:19 AM With Bobo in their company, the travelers were once again on their way. Aside from an event wherein Bobo turned back into a wolf and tried to eat Several small babies, not much happened. A week and a half passed, but still nothing happened. Finally, Ionix was so bored that he wished an army of skeletons would attack them. One did, but it was easily defeated and so nobody really cared all that much. The adventure was getting really, really boring!

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