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| Author | Topic: N's Day to day |
| Tiger66 |
posted 8/22/07 11:55 PM
Hi All I would like to start a thread,where N's can post, when ever they cause another person distress.OR if you have been caused distress from an N. Views can then be given.As an N I just didn't know when I was being tactless. |
| Lightworker |
posted 8/24/07 4:32 PM
I can suggest a tool that you can use to discover when you were/are being tactless: For one day, or just one hour if that's all you can manage at first, think of this one thing just before you say or do ANYTHING: Think: "Is what I'm about to say/do something I would enjoy having said or done to me?". See. It's not as hard as you think. If you can sustain this for one hour, then you can slowly build out to include several hours or even a whole day. Later even bigger increments of time will work. If it's too overwhelming for one hour, just try five minutes or even one minute at first. |
| Tiger66 |
posted 8/25/07 1:06 AM
excellent advice. Arnt we responsible for our own actions.Why stay in a toxic relationship,You know what behaviour you dont like,So why not just leave early before you become a victim. |
| Tiger66 |
posted 8/25/07 2:22 AM
Take this as a case,A child sees his parents abusing each other ,or 1 abusing the other,So he sees this as normal behaviour because he doesnt know any different.How can we punish some 1 who has only been shown abuse in a relationship.surely compassion is the best way. your thoughts |
| Gattaca |
posted 8/25/07 3:37 AM
Healing has nothing to do with punishment. This is about recognising how our actions contribute to problems in our interpersonal relationships. Yes, if a person comes from a neglectful, abusive home, then this is what they will feel is "normal" and go on to repeat the cycle. The key is recognising the cycle for what it is and learning healthy boundaries, something which may be a totally forgien concept to someone from a dysfuctional family (NPD or non). Thinking about how you would feel if someone did or said something to you is a good idea. One that never dawned on me until i was probably around 21 years old. Before then, it had never even occured to me that others had feelings. Since that realization, my personal relationships have gone much smoother. (i also now know when to discard someone who is abusive to ME....Since NPDers tend to be born from abuse, the continuing abusive cycle can run both ways) |
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